Lost In You
by Kalli13
Summary: Shigeru is a poet, and an angsty one at that! *evil chuckle*


  
Lost In You  
  
  
Standard disclaimers apply.   
  
Warnings: It's a shishi. Angsty. Geru-chan with emotional torment. Gotta love it.   
  
Notes: Um... It's an internal monologue type thing. Shigeru's internal monologue type thing. Yup.   
  
~~...~~ are song lyrics.   
//...// are poems.   
  
  
-------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
~~Lying wide awake under strange skies   
Wanting to call you but it is late at night   
And you're far away   
But you are always on my mind   
I feel like I'm on fire, nothing I can do   
I'm troubled with doubt   
Though I know it is not true   
And it's times like these   
When I am dying to speak to you~~   
  
The world is full of fools... myself included. As I   
gaze up into the night sky, the stars are strange,   
so different from Masara. So different then my   
memories of you and me, staring at the sky, gawking   
in awe.   
  
Of course, even then I knew. And I wasn't watching the   
stars like you... I was peering intently at a star,   
one warm and full of life and light, one very close   
and further away then then even the outermost reaches   
of the Milky Way.   
  
I snort softly. Becoming a poet? Sure, why not. I have   
enough emotional baggage to make a physciatrist estatic   
for years, I think I can be a poet.   
  
  
// ~~I'm dying to get through   
I'm dying to speak to you   
Dying to get through   
I'm dying to speak to you   
Staring at the wall I sink inside~~ //  
  
Hmm. I read over the words I had scrawled on some   
spare paper. Fitting, but not quite it. I don't know   
why I'm doing this... Seems to help get emotions out   
though.   
  
You really don't get it, do you Sato-chan? Don't   
seem to understand how badly I wish I could get over   
my own damn arrogence, my own pride. I find it hard to   
beleive that eve you can be so vlind as to not see the   
looks I give you. Perhaps I'm fooling myself, as I only   
give them when your back is turned and I'm safe from s  
eeing hatred in yours. Hatred and hurt.   
  
I read an article once, about why I act so cruelly   
around you. There are two theories, both hitting   
rather uncomfortably close to home. I'm hurting you,   
becasue of the emotional anguish you give me. A sick   
form of revenge, which is why I perfer the latter,   
even if the former is all to correct. Distancing myself   
to protect you. It seems to work.   
  
No, it doesn't. It hurts you far more then you let   
on. And it kills me. A cycle that will countine until   
I'm brave enough to leave your life altogether or tell   
you.   
  
That being the real reason. I'm afraid if my eyes   
aren't filled with sneering arrogence you'll see   
the love in them.   
  
  
//~~I think about it all I get caught up in my life   
I can't think straight   
Because it's tearing up my mind   
I feel like I'm on fire, nothing I can do   
I'm troubled with doubt   
Though I know it is not true   
And it's times like these   
When I'm dying to speak to you   
Dying to get through   
Dying to get through~~ //   
  
I think they're getting better. At least getting closer   
to the way I feel, I'm not sure at all if they're good   
linguistically.   
  
Sometimes I think I have the courage. But the second   
I'm around you, everything cracks and I fall back to   
my baseline behavoir. Insults, sneers. I can't think   
around you, gods, I have trouble remembering to breathe!   
How in the world do you expect me to know how to act,   
to get myself out of the grave I'm digging for myself?   
  
I... Mm. My mind is spinning in circles, with you at   
the centerpoint. Satishi. My once best-friend, the   
only person who would have a slim chance of beating   
me at this point. A little kid, with chocoalte eyes   
and ebony hair, and a heart far to big for his petite   
frame.   
  
Problem is, I don't know if his heart extends to me.   
I think inspiration's hit...   
  
//~~The more that I think, how I need you   
The more that I think, the more it seems true   
And now it means more   
Than I ever meant it to   
Ever meant it to   
Lying wide awake under strange skies   
Wanting to call you but it is late at night   
And you're far away But you are always on my mind   
You are always on my mind   
You are always on my mind   
You are always on my mind   
You are always on my mind   
You are always on my mind   
You are always on my mind~~ //   
  
  
---------------------------------------------------  
  
  
BWAHAHA! That was fun. Response is welcome, if not   
adored.   
  



End file.
